Okay, I'm really done! Why do I try and get well when I just fall back down. The last post about that friend telling me on two different occasions that she would call, still hasn't. Those calls should have been Tuesday and Wednesday. I left her a message making sure she was okay, since she was far away and on an airplane. She text me tonight, "I'm okay, just beat. I'm on call all weekend. When does it end? Gnt." Really?! That's it?! To me, that is a bullshit excuse too. I responded that it would end now. I'm so frustrated with myself that I let myself get so disappointed!!!! I'm so stupid!
I'm done living. I'm getting nowhere, as far school, life, career, or relationships. I'm praying right now that God would just take me, even if it's a miserable death and I don't go to Heaven! I just don't give a damn anymore. I want to take tons of meds and drive my car into a tree. I don't want to be saved. I'm DONE!!!
Now, if only God would answer my prayer...
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