This morning was great!!! I was with some of my favorite people for a few hours. Then I met up with a long lost friend for about an hour. I was BEYOND tired, without medication. Then around 4 this afternoon, it all fell apart.
Today I messed up! I was responsible to do something today, and honestly forgot about it. I left the situation in tears. I tried calling a friend and she didn't answer. I then went to another friend's house and told her what had happened. It was an honest mistake. However, I needed to be punished. I went and made a stop on my way to the next destination since I had time to kill. I cut my self in three different spots, leaving quite superficial cuts that didn't bleed. Not bleeding much means that I need to cut deeper, in my mind.
I've come to the conclusion that I am going to quite the ministry I'm in and still considering a church change too. At least today that is what I think is best. Maybe just a break from the ministry... Not sure. Gotta seek God about that some more before I make any decisions. I'm such freaking hypocrite!!! I hate when people flake or act fake, but I'm finding myself being fake, around almost anybody. I'm hurting myself, when I tell others not too. What a loser!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment