Since February 15th...

So, it's been about a month and a half since I started this blog. Has it accomplished anything? Doubtful. Do I continue? For my own sanity I feel I should, but that's just a feeling. Who knows! For now, I'm going to write because I need some form of an outlet. For starters, I HATE myself!!!! EVERYTHING about me is BEYOND disgusting!!!! I feel as though I'm literally taking someone's position, like I'm simply here to fill empty space, maybe God got bored and wanted drama, so He added me. I don't know. I really don't have anything else to write, except that when I'm off duty, I'm taking some Valium. I'm feeling pretty anxious, and really haven't been using the valium for it. Why? Not sure. I'm using it tonight! Sometimes I wish I could just see how far I could really go until I eventually didn't wake up... but, if I didn't wake up, it wouldn't matter because I wouldn't be alive to know how much it really was. I'm pretty sure that last run on sentence made zero sense! Does to me, but that doesn't matter. Alright, I've decided that certain aspects of being on the computer aggravate and cause more anxiety for some reason. Right now, It's beginning. Good night!