WOW!!!! I can really see the "bipolar" diagnosis I was given so many years ago. It sounds so negative, and admitting that I am, isn't easy. I feel flawed. I feel that I'm less of a person because I struggle so much. In reality, that's not true. I may have emotional struggles, but everyone has at least on area they struggle with, right?
I agree with my diagnosis because I literally go second to second from feeling full of peace, to being filled with NOTHING but EXTREME self-disgust! I really don't know what to do. I'm praying, that's a given for me. I took my hot shower, and I actually got out feeling no relief, as it usually does. I've been replaying parts of my day, and thinking of all the different things that I should have done differently. Ugh! I'm disgusting!!!!
I have to admit, I'm starving myself. I have been for a few days now. I wasn't doing it on purpose, I just got busy and didn't think about eating. Right now, I'm really hungry but am refusing! It's the only thing I can control, and even that I suck at.
Perhaps a good night of sleep will help...
No comments:
Post a Comment