Uncertainty

Happy-no
Sad-maybe
Hopeless-yes
SI-yes
Self-harm thoughts-DEFINITELY
Lonely-for sure!
Overwhelmed-a bit
Frustrated-kinda
Wanting it to tall end!!!!

The pain in which I feel right now is like so many of my days. I start a new class this afternoon on anxiety. I'm for sure needing Valium right now, but haven't taken any yet. I want to take about ten! I'm wishing I could talk to certain people, and yet I can't think of anything to talk about. I just feel a sense of doom...like my world is going to fall in any second. I'm in despair, leaving me hopeless and feeling alone. I'm feeling betrayed by God. Why? I guess because these days are so dark and frequent, despite the few bright days I have. What I wouldn't do for a good drug right now!

In Despair,
me